


tell me how good it feels to be needed

by jorgelorenzo



Category: Motorcycling RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Author Jorge, Emotional Baggage, Jorge being emotionally constipated, M/M, Vale having a crisis far too late in life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 15:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17831573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jorgelorenzo/pseuds/jorgelorenzo
Summary: “Well,” Dani smiles, removing the icepack and wrapping it up in a towel. “You could come and do some cycling with me next weekend? I don’t think that would put as much of a strain on your leg because you’re not putting it on the floor, if you get me.”It sounds oddly like a date, but Dani wouldn’t be interested in Jorge like that, he’s sure.“Sounds good.” Jorge nods, standing up again. He’s slightly wobbly on his feet, but he can’t feel the pain, or anything else, in his leg anymore. “Do you want my number?”Jorge almost cringes at himself for saying it, but Dani beams at him and pulls out his phone.God, he’s so screwed.





	tell me how good it feels to be needed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zjemciciastko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zjemciciastko/gifts), [ItsHighlightlover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsHighlightlover/gifts).



> Firstly, warnings; Jorge is an emotionally constipated prat in this fic and i apologise for it in advance. He's also a slight self reflection, so yeah there's that lol. Also this hasn't been beta'd so if there's any mistakes, let me know and I will change them asap. Half of this has been written at like 1am so that may explain a lot. Oh and the title comes from needy by Ariana Grande.
> 
> secondly, dedications:
> 
> I dedicate this two ways, firstly to my sunshine, queen of my heart and an all round inspiration zjemciciastko, who supports me in all ways, cries with me about stupid men and is generally one of the best friends i could ask for. Also she writes the best fics ever which tbh inspire me in all ways, like every one dedicated to me I feel so bad because I know I will never be able to write anything half as good to repay you, but I hope you like this and all the angst! (#ourfave) I love you!!!
> 
> secondly to highlightlover4693, this is because i want you to know i read and love every chapter/fic you post and my lazy ass always says "i'll comment saying i love this later" and then forgets and never does because i am trash #1. so this is to say sorry for me not appreciating your masterpieces so much and i hope that you like this!!!! <3
> 
> finally, none of this is real, please don't send this to anyone involved etc, the usual. and i hope you enjoy it!!

_You never stop learning, so age is relative; in some ways I'm as immature as an 18-year-old boy and in others I behave as if I'm 50._

Jorge sighs as he looks down at the start of the paragraph. He knows that realistically, his publisher isn’t expecting a draft of the first chapter for the next few months, but Jorge likes to be ahead of the game wherever he can when writing his books. Unfortunately, the inspiration isn’t flowing today and he can’t understand why. Part of him wishes that Valentino was home from work already so that he could nag him, but the Italian had been oddly moody lately and Jorge didn’t want to start a row with his flatmate.

“Fuck this.” He says, closing down his laptop screen, knowing that he isn’t going to get anymore work done today.

The gym would clear his mind, Jorge decides, standing up and putting the laptop away. Once he had exhausted himself, he could come home, force Valentino to cook him some pasta and then go to sleep and wake up tomorrow with a clear head.

+

The ride to their local gym isn’t too far and with everyone being at work, the roads are clear so that Jorge is there in no time. He greets Maverick at the reception and then heads into the changing rooms, finding them blissfully empty. It’s not that Jorge doesn’t like other peoples company; he would just rather be able to get on with stuff without anyone being in the way. He supposes that working from home has changed his mind set over the years.

There’s only one other person in the cardio section when Jorge enters it, a short man with dark hair and eyes who smiles up at him when he walks by the stationary bikes. Jorge gives his usual forced half smile, cursing himself internally for being so socially awkward, especially around anyone attractive. He goes for the treadmill, knowing full well that it will wear him out the quickest, even if it’s going to fuck up his leg.

_Focus_.

He runs for about twenty minutes before his eyes are watering too much, the pain in his leg almost unbearable, and Jorge hobbles off of it and collapses on the floor. God, he’s an idiot. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to ride home like this, he’ll probably have to call Valentino to come and pick him up and he’s certain the Italian will be less than impressed.

“Um, are you alright?”

The voice is soft and when he looks up, he finds the dark haired man standing over him with a concerned expression on his face.

Jorge grimaces. “I will be.”

The man crouches next to Jorge, examining Jorge’s rather swollen leg. He reaches out a hand before looking back at Jorge.

“May I?” he asks, hand hovering over the limb. “I’ve broken my legs about five different times, I think I’ll be able to see if there’s any lasting damage.”

“Go for it.” Jorge offers.

The hands are gentle and smooth on his leg, occasionally running over a spot that has Jorge hiss, all the while the other man’s eyes never leave the leg. He leans back after a while and Jorge has to admit he’s slightly disappointed.

“I think you might have pulled something, it doesn’t look like anything is broken or damaged too badly.” He says. “Why the hell are you here if your leg isn’t good? Surely you know you should be resting up until it’s fully healed?”

“I know that.” Jorge grits out, attempting to push himself upwards. “I’m just an idiot.”

The other man snorts. “Apparently so. Stop moving and let me help you up. You can sit on one of the machines while I get you an ice pack.”

The man manages to help him over to a bench press and sits him down. Jorge’s leg is throbbing now and he knows he’s not going to sleep well tonight either. He should have waited like his doctor had said, but being cramped up in the house all the time was driving him crazy.

“I’m Dani, by the way.” The man says as he brings back an icepack.

“Jorge.”

 Dani holds the icepack on his leg, the other hand coming up to cup the back of his calf. It’s freezing and Jorge has to fight the urge to jerk away from the cold. It’s an oddly intimate moment, and Jorge can’t deny that having Dani on his knees is a nice sight.

It’s _definitely_ been too long since he got laid.

“So, Jorge.” Dani says after a moment. “Dare I ask why you’re trying to end up in a wheelchair?”

Jorge scowls. “I got bored sitting around at home, I wanted to come here and clear my head. Obviously that didn’t work.”

“Obviously.” Dani repeats, rolling his eyes. “Are you signed off work?”

“No, I work from home.” Jorge tells him, fiddling with the seam of the seat. “I’m an author, I write self help books.”

Dani gives him a blank look. “ _You_ , who came to the gym with an injured leg, write _self help_ books?”

“Yes, yes, I know, can help everyone else but can’t help myself.” It’s something Valentino takes the piss out of him for any chance that he gets. “I broke it months ago, it’s just healing so slowly and it drives me fucking mad. Should _you_ really be here if you’ve broken your leg so many times?”

“I sort of have to be.” Dani admits, moving the icepack around a bit. “I have a charity cycling race in three months, I’m in the middle of training. Anyway, I’ve broken most of the bones in my body either cycling or on my motorbike and I’ve always recovered well enough.”

If Jorge were a weaker man, he would be on his knees right now, begging Dani to marry him. As it is, he just has to sternly remind himself about how badly every other relationship he’s had has turned out and forces a smile onto his face.

“Do you work with bikes for a living?”

Dani shakes his head. “I’m a family lawyer.”

Great, even more perfect.

“I think my leg is numb enough.” Jorge says, trying to plan his escape before he does anything stupid. “I suppose you’re going to tell me that I shouldn’t come back here for a while?”

“Well,” Dani smiles, removing the icepack and wrapping it up in a towel. “You could come and do some cycling with me next weekend? I don’t think that would put as much of a strain on your leg because you’re not putting it on the floor, if you get me.”

It sounds oddly like a date, but Dani wouldn’t be interested in Jorge like that, he’s sure.

“Sounds good.” Jorge nods, standing up again. He’s slightly wobbly on his feet, but he can’t feel the pain, or anything else, in his leg anymore. “Do you want my number?”

Jorge almost cringes at himself for saying it, but Dani beams at him and pulls out his phone.

God, he’s so screwed.

+

He doesn’t manage to get a hold of Valentino, who undoubtedly has gone over to the Ranch and isn’t at home with fresh cooked pasta for Jorge, so Jorge has to ride his bike home. He tries not to think about Dani too much on the way home, repeating his usual mantra of “ _I don’t do relationships_ ” in his head and forcing out the image of Dani all sweaty after being on the bike.

Valentino, however, is there when Jorge arrives at their apartment, curled up on the sofa and wearing the odd brooding expression he seems to constantly have of late.

“I left you pasta on the stove.” Valentino says when Jorge walks in, and then narrows his eyes as Jorge hobbles past. “You went to the gym.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Jorge sighs, knowing he’s in for a lecture. “I fucked my leg up, had this cute guy come and help me out and now we’re going out cycling next weekend.”

Valentino’s expression morphs into a salacious grin. “A date?”

Jorge grabs a bowl of pasta and slumps down next to the Italian. The sofa is covered with multiple blankets and is so comfortable that Jorge could just melt into it.

“It’s not a date.” He says firmly. “He just was offering to help me because I can’t go to the gym with my leg like this.”

“And what is mystery man’s name?” Valentino asks, leering.

“Dani.” Jorge tells him before he can think better of it. “Anyway, enough about my not-date, is there anyone on the horizon for you? You haven’t told me about your love life in a while.”

A blush goes across Valentino’s cheeks and Jorge nearly drops his bowl of pasta.

“Oh my god,” Jorge says. “Is _that_ why you’ve been so grumpy?

Valentino glares. “I haven’t been grumpy.”

“Yes you have,” Jorge snorts. “You’ve been fucking miserable for months. Does she work with you at Dorna?”

Valentino’s silence answers Jorge’s question.

“So, when are _you_ going to tell _me_ the name of your mystery girl at work that you’ve been moping about?”

“Never.” Valentino says immediately. “Fuck off, Jorge.”

“Come _on_ ,” Jorge whines, poking Valentino in the leg with his toe. “Vale, at least tell me what she’s like.”

Valentino remains stubbornly silent for a moment, arms crossed and lips pursed, before the words seem to be almost forced out of him.

“Short, talks too much, stupidly good looking and far too young for me.” Valentino says all at once. “Happy now?”

Normally, because he loves to push Valentino’s buttons, Jorge would continue the conversation until he got a name out of him. However, the Italian looks actually upset and the pasta is too nice for Jorge to want it ending up being thrown at his head.

“Okay, well,” Jorge says awkwardly. “If you ever want to talk, we can.”

Valentino nods, expression closed off now.

“Thank you.” He says quietly. “Does this Dani know that it’s not a date?”

“I think so.” Jorge says, shovelling more pasta into his mouth. “He didn’t say it like it was a date, more like two guys hanging out. I don’t even know if he likes men.”

“Hmm.” Valentino shrugs. “I guess we’ll see.”

“Yeah,” Jorge agrees. “I guess we will.”

+

He meets Dani outside a cycling track on the next Saturday. His hands are shaking a little bit, but Jorge puts that down to the cold rather than nerves. Dani promised him that he would bring two bikes given that Jorge’s own had started to rust in the garage.

_almost there! :D_

Dani’s texts constantly had Jorge feeling stupid butterflies in his stomach and he’s had to give himself several lectures on keeping focused on the important things in life, not on some guy who he didn’t even know was gay. He had discovered over the past week that Dani is feisty, doesn’t take any nonsense from anyone and has a deep love of Crema Catalana. Jorge had told him about his books and Valentino’s mystery girlfriend, and Dani had told him about some of his more ridiculous client demands and the charity cycling races he’d organised in the past.

“Hey.”

Jorge snaps out of his day dreaming to find Dani stood there in full cycling gear.

“Hey you,” he echoes. “You look like something out of Tour De France.”

Dani grins up at him and it’s only then that Jorge notices he’s only got one bike with him.

“Where’s my bike?” Jorge asks, confused.

“Not here.” Dani says firmly, steering him into a seat next to a park bench. “Your leg is totally fucked, I’m not blind or stupid, Jorge. You are going to sit here and write me motivational speeches and every time I do a lap, you’re going to read one to me.”

He pulls a pen and a little notepad out of nowhere and places it down on the table along with a little tub which on inspection has some cookies inside of it.

“I don’t really have much of a say in this, do I?” Jorge asks, but he’s smiling. No one has ever really asked him to write for them, most of the people he’s met on his book tours have just wanted autographs and some advice. “You’re a hard taskmaster, Dani Pedrosa.”

Dani winks. “You haven’t seen anything yet, Lorenzo.”

True to his word, Dani does stop every lap and gives Jorge an expectant expression. Jorge does his best to come up with as many cycling metaphors as possible to squeeze into his writing, and by the time Dani’s doing his twentieth lap, the speeches are so ridiculous that both of them are almost crying with laughter.

“This was fun.” Jorge tells him, helping Dani carry his bike back to the car. “We should do something like this again.”

“Next weekend?” Dani asks. “You can do one lap and see how it goes. And if not, you can write me some more inspiration for the race.”

When Jorge arrives home, Valentino is leaning over the stove where several pans are steaming. He turns and raises an eyebrow.

“How was your date?”

“Piss off.” Jorge says.

“Didn’t get laid then?” Valentino cackles.

“It wasn’t a date, and you know it.”Jorge says firmly. “I don’t do relationships.”

“So if it was, as you say, not a date,” Valentino stirs the pan nearest to him idly. “Why are you blushing so much?”

Jorge flips him the finger rather than answering.

+

Jorge only manages about ten laps of the path before his leg starts to play up, but he didn’t plan on saying anything until Dani stops them.

“Your leg’s hurting, isn’t it?” Dani asks, scrutinizing him. “Don’t lie, you’re wincing.”

Jorge shrugs. “It’ll be alright, we can keep going.”

Dani shakes his head, pulling off his helmet.

“It’s okay, we’ve been round enough.” Dani says firmly. “How about we go and get some lunch?”

They end up at a little café just outside the city centre, Dani apparently being friends with the owner, who sits them near the back in a more secluded spot that still allows the sunlight to filter in. Dani orders Crema Catalana for both of them along with some coffee.

“So, tell me,” Dani says, resting his chin daintily on the palm of his hand. “How did you get in to all the self help, motivational stuff?”

Jorge sips at his coffee. “I guess it just came along? My dad, he was always pushing me to be the best I could be and I always came up with little speeches to try and keep myself going. I wrote some of them down, one of my teachers saw them and he told me I could make a career of it, so I did. It wasn’t ever something I planned.”

“I bet your dad’s really proud of you, eh?” Dani’s smile is soft, but the question has Jorge feel icy inside.

“I guess.” He shrugs, looking down at his coffee to avoid Dani’s gaze. “I think he wishes I had done something more like you, but it is what it is.”

Jorge watches the swirls of steam rising up from his coffee for a moment, before the silence drags on too long and he looks back up to find Dani looking at him with a strange expression that he can’t quite read.

“Well, I think your dad’s a fool.” Dani says decisively. “You should be really proud of yourself, Jorge. I told my mum that I knew you and she actually has a copy of one of your books, she was really impressed I knew someone famous.”

Jorge would normally point out the fact that he isn’t really famous, but the way that Dani speaks with such certainty about how Jorge should be proud of himself has him at a loss for words. He swallows, trying to find words.

“Thanks,” Jorge says hoarsely. “Thank you.”

Dani just smiles and Jorge is so gone for him already that it’s scaring him. Thankfully, at that moment, the waiter brings over their Crema Catalana and both of them are distracted.

“How’s your flatmate?” Dani asks.

Jorge groans. “Terrible. He’s lovesick, it’s driving me mad. Every time I try to bring it up, he looks like he’s going to stab me, so I just have to suffer in silence. The only time I’m free of it is when he’s gone to his Moto Ranch or when he’s asleep, otherwise our flat feels like a funeral parlour.”

“Is he bad with women?”

Jorge nearly chokes on a bit of his dessert.

“Bad with women?” He repeats, laughing. “By this point normally, they’d have been dating for a few months. Vale’s always had loads of girlfriends, I don’t know what’s different about this one that’s turned him into a teenage girl.”

Dani hums, sucking his spoon thoughtfully.

“Maybe she’s not obviously into him?” Dani suggests. “And that’s making him confused because he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself by asking her out and her saying no?”

It’s a good suggestion, not anything Jorge had thought of and definitely sounds like Valentino. Jorge wonders if getting Valentino drunk would get him to admit to it, but then he would probably have to get drunk too and wouldn’t remember in the morning anyway.

“And what about you?” Dani steals a bite of Jorge’s food. “Is there a beautiful lady in the life of Jorge Lorenzo?”

Jorge blinks.

“I, no.” He stutters. He tries not to think about Casey or Dovi, knowing that that train of thoughts never end happily. “I don’t date. I had some shitty boyfriends and I just swore off that kind of thing. How about you?”

Dani shrugs. “No one as of late. There’s been some guys in the past, but I’m busy with work a lot and I don’t always have the time for it. I’m just waiting for the right one to come along, I suppose.”

There’s an awkward pause in which Jorge has to fight down the urge to ask Dani out then and there, suppressing it with a reminder to himself of how it felt being left alone in a very expensive restaurant after one argument too many.

“Are you busy in work at the moment?” Jorge asks a beat too late, but Dani clearly ignores it and the moment passes.

“Very.” He says, sighing. “A divorced couple are fighting over their pet parrot, I honestly think I’m going to go insane.”

“A fucking parrot?” Jorge can’t help the snort of laughter. “Tell me everything.”

+

Friday is normally Jorge’s day of peace.

Valentino goes over to the ranch to ride with the boys after work, it’s his day where he doesn’t write anything, not that he’s been doing much of that lately with the innumerable distractions in his life, and his publisher doesn’t work, so he’s free to do whatever he wants.

He spends 90% of the day slouched out on the sofa while Valentino is at work, orders himself a takeaway and watches shitty TV. He texts Dani a few times to organise another cycling trip for the next day, the rides having become part of his routine over the past month and a half. It’s only at about 6 o’clock that his peace is shattered as a loud knocking on the apartment door comes.

When he answers it, there’s a short, younger man with dark hair, dark eyes and a chiselled jawline that makes Jorge feel rather self conscious. He beams up at Jorge, who gives him a wary look in return.

“Hi,” His voice is far too loud for Jorge’s liking, as though he was born without an inside voice. He’s holding a jacket that is oddly familiar to Jorge. “Is Vale home?”

Jorge stares suspiciously at him. “No, he’s probably at the Ranch, he’ll back in a bit though. Do I know you?”

“No, um, I’m Marc.” He holds out a hand, which Jorge shakes. “I work with Vale, and he left his jacket behind, I just wanted to give it back to him. You’re Jorge, right?”

Ah, so _this_ is Marc. Valentino had mentioned him a couple times, but Jorge had never met the younger man before. There’s a blush on his cheeks whenever he says Valentino’s name, and Jorge wonders if Valentino is aware of the rather obvious crush the younger man is harbouring for him.

Knowing how vain his friend is, Jorge suspects the Italian would probably be flattered.

“Hold up,” Jorge says, suddenly realising something. “How do you know where we live?”

Marc grins. “I’ve been here before. I dropped Vale home when his bike was broken.”

Jorge considers Marc for a moment. Normally, he would have taken the jacket and shut the door on Marc about two minutes ago, but Marc works with Valentino and he’s _sure_ that Marc would know the girl that Valentino is into given how close they seem to be. Jorge debates internally with himself for a moment before posing his next question.

“Do you want to come in for a cup of coffee or something?” Jorge asks. “You can wait here until Vale gets back, I’m sure he won’t mind. You can stay for dinner if you want.”

“Cool!” Marc beams, following Jorge inside. “Your apartment is really nice, I love the wallpaper.”

“Um, thanks.” Jorge says as Marc sits himself down on the sofa. “Tea, coffee?”

“Some coffee would be great.” Marc seems to have a permanent smile on his face. “Milk and sugar.”

Jorge starts rummaging around in their cupboards, pulling out two mugs and the pot of sugar and the coffee beans. He sets the machine going and turns to face Marc again.

“So, Marc,” Jorge says, twirling a mug in between his hands. “How did you and the old bastard meet?”

 Marc starts on some long rambling tale about how he graduated last year and did an internship at Dorna before starting his current job and Valentino had shown him around and how amazing he had been, but Jorge zones out after a few moments, remembering another conversation.

_Short, talks too much, stupidly good looking and far too young for me_.

Oh my _god_.

The realisation hits him like a brick and his grip on the mug slackens before it falls to the floor and smashes loudly. Jorge jumps and Marc leaps to his feet.

“Fuck,” he says, crouching down. “Sorry, I lost my grip.”

Marc, however, is already there next to him, helping to pick the shards up. A second later, Jorge hears him swear and turns to see Marc with blood dripping down his palm, apparently having cut his finger in his haste to help.

And of course, because Jorge’s life is some weird soap opera, that’s the moment that Valentino chooses to arrive home. He stops dead upon seeing Marc, and Jorge has to fight down the urge to laugh. He’s a better friend than that.

“Ciao.” Valentino says. “What’s going on?”

 “Hey,” Jorge goes for as casual a tone as he can manage. “Marc came to drop off your jacket, you left it at work. I said he could wait for you to come back and have dinner with us.”

He turns to Marc, who’s attempting to stem the flow of the bleeding.

“The bathroom is down the hall on the left, there’s a first aid kit under the sink. If you need anything else, let me know. I think we have tape around here somewhere.”

Marc hurries off down the hall, leaving Jorge alone with Valentino, who comes over to where he’s picking up the remaining pieces of the mug.

“Go on then,” Valentino’s voice is strangled. “Say it.”

Jorge raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a bit old to be having this kind of crisis?”

“I’m going fucking crazy, Jorge.” Valentino whispers, and now Jorge properly looks at him, he looks exhausted. “I can’t sleep properly, I can’t stop thinking about him and I don’t know what to do.”

“Why don’t you just ask him out?” Jorge mutters back. “He nearly had an orgasm every time he said your name, it’s pretty obvious he’s into you.”

Valentino runs a hand over his face. “I’ve never dated a guy, Jorge, I don’t know how this goes.”

“What am I, some gay guru?” Jorge pokes Valentino in the arm with his free hand. “Come on, Vale, if you like him and you want to be with him, just ask him out. Stop torturing yourself over it, it’s totally normal and Marc seems really nice, I doubt he would laugh at you for it. Life is so fucking short, and you’re not getting any younger.”

Valentino seems to mull over his words for a second before he lets out a long sigh, Jorge practically able to see the weight lifting off his shoulders.

“You’re right.” Valentino says, taking a few shards of the mug and throwing it in the bin. “I’ll do it. I’ll ask him out.”

He still looks slightly uncertain, so Jorge pats him reassuringly on the shoulder.

 “It’ll be fine, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy.” Jorge scoops the remainder of the mug into the bin. “Just take him to the ranch, do a couple laps or whatever and then go out for dinner. It’ll be just like hanging out as friends, except you’ll get laid afterwards.”

Enjoying the look of terror on Valentino’s face, Jorge turns and pulls another two mugs out of the cupboard just as Marc bounces back into the kitchen, looking at Valentino with a disgustingly fond expression.

“All bandaged up.” Marc says. “Sorry about that, Jorge.”

Jorge shrugs. “It’s fine, you sure your finger is alright? Don’t need Vale to kiss it better for you?”

Valentino gives him a deadly look, although Marc looks as though he certainly wouldn’t mind that happening. There’s a large part of Jorge that would love to continue to make Valentino squirm, but there’s another part of him that can see the fear and uncertainty in Valentino’s eyes and decides to be a good friend for once.

“You two sit down, I’ll start dinner.” He says firmly. “We don’t need any more accidents.”

He cooks the best Paella he can manage, tuning out to Valentino and Marc’s chatter behind him to try and give them a little bit of privacy. He does, however, text Dani this latest piece of gossip, unable to keep it to himself until tomorrow.

_it’s a guy!!_

Dani’s reply is almost instantaneous.

_who’s a guy?_

Jorge can’t help but to imagine Dani’s adorable confused expression.

_vale’s secret crush, he’s called marc and they’re totally in love_

Jorge turns in time to see Vale telling some story and Marc with an enraptured look on his face.

_holy shit!! u have to tell me everything tomorrow!!!_

Despite having to sit next to Marc and Valentino and the blushing every time their hands brush and the sideways looks when the other isn’t looking all evening, nothing can dampen the glow in Jorge’s chest whenever he thinks of seeing Dani the next day.

+

_Love is something that leads to much confusion in life_.

Jorge leans his head back against the sofa, groaning. He’s managed to write a few more chapters, his publisher being happy with the ones he’s been sent so far, but this new chapter is one that Jorge doesn’t know where to go with. He knows that his views on love and relationships aren’t going to sell well because they’re so negative, but it seems disingenuous to try and write anything else.

Almost as though the universe hates him, his phone buzzes at that moment.

_do u want to grab some lunch? i’ve got the day off work :D_

Jorge fiddles with his phone for a second before typing out his response.

_i’ve got to write today :( sorry_

Jorge curses himself for sending it, wanting nothing more than to shut the laptop in front of him and go out with Dani, but there’s something a little too close to home about the words on the screen and his feelings for Dani.

_okay :(_

“Fuck.” Jorge presses his palms to his eyes. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

_u can come over here? might be a bit boring but i can cook us some lunch and u can stop me from going stir crazy in here haha_

He doesn’t let himself debate internally before sending the text, hitting the button and throwing it face down on the sofa so he doesn’t have to look at the screen. There’s something more intimate about having Dani here in his home and Jorge knows he’s going to have to remind himself that this is just a friendship. He doesn’t want to end up hating Dani if they were to get together and their relationship would inevitably go sour; Jorge doesn’t think he could stand the smaller man looking at him like he hated him either.

The phone buzzes and Jorge turns it over hesitantly.

_i’ll bring the lunch, let me kno where u live and i’ll be there asap :D_

Jorge spends the next twenty minutes hastily trying to tidy the apartment of mostly Valentino’s clutter and rearranges the blankets on the sofa several times before realising that he might be over thinking everything just a bit.

Dani arrives looking windswept, but he gives Jorge the normal soft smile and holds up the two carrier bags in his hands.

“I got us pizza and shitty snacks.” Dani says brightly. “You like leche frita, right?”

They gorge themselves on the delicious pizza while watching TV, Dani immediately having sunk into the spot on the sofa that Valentino normally takes up, and then eat enough leche frita to make Jorge feel slightly sick.

“So,” Dani says, nudging Jorge in the thigh with his toe. “What’s this new chapter about?”

Jorge sighs. “It’s supposed to be about relationships.”

Dani is silent for a moment and Jorge tries to focus on the TV, feeling discomfort sink in all over his body. He doesn’t talk about this, not to anyone, save the one time he got very drunk and cried all over an even more drunk Valentino, who had patted him on the head and called him an idiot.

“You’re not big on those, right?”

“I mean,” Jorge swallows, not knowing where to go with this. “Every relationship I’ve ever been in has been a complete fucking disaster, so no, not really.”

“Why?” Dani asks softly and Jorge curses him internally.

“I’m difficult.” Jorge admits, closing his eyes. “I get pissed off easily, I can be brooding, possessive, I don’t really know how to show affection even if I want to and I’ve never really seen a healthy relationship. My parents got divorced and they sort of hate one another, so.”

He trails off, a horrible lump in his throat that he can’t seem to swallow down. He thinks of Casey and every stupid argument they’d had, Dovi and the weeks they had spent not speaking to one another before Jorge caved in and called. Looking back, he can see his own fault in the fights, how maybe Casey hadn’t always wanted to stay in while he was writing or how Dovi shouldn’t have had to try so hard to get affection from him.

“My fiancé cheated on me.” Dani says suddenly, startling Jorge out of his thoughts. He turns to look at the other man, but he’s staring at a point just above the TV. “We were together for five years, we were meant to be getting married until I caught him in bed with someone else about three months before the wedding. After that, I’ve never really dated anyone, I couldn’t trust them properly.”

Dani breaks off and Jorge can see that he’s holding back tears and feels terrible for it. For all of his past shitty relationships, he’s thankful that no one has ever cheated on him and hearing Dani’s voice break as he speaks has Jorge feeling like shit.

“Well, he’s a fucking idiot then.” Jorge says firmly, reaching out and taking Dani’s hand before he can think better of it. “Anyone who could even think of cheating on you obviously has something wrong with them, you’re brilliant.”

The words leave Jorge’s mouth without his permission, and for a moment he’s scared he’s overstepped the mark, but Dani squeezes his hand back and turns to look at him with faintly red rimmed eyes. 

“Thank you, Jorge.” He says quietly, voice rough.

Jorge nods, not knowing what to say to that. There’s a moment where Dani’s eyes flicker down to his lips and Jorge can feel his heart pounding. He leans in slowly, time seeming to stand still as he does it, barely daring to breath. Dani seems to sense what’s coming and begins to move gradually until –

The door of the apartment bursts open to reveal a frantic looking Valentino, and Jorge has to physically restrain himself from getting up and strangling the Italian for ruining the moment.

“Jorge, help me, I-” Valentino starts, breaking off when he spots Dani. “Sorry, am I interrupting?”

“No,” Dani answers before Jorge can open his mouth. He stands up and walks over to Valentino, offering out a hand. “I’m Dani, you must be Valentino?”

“Si, you can call me Vale, though.” Valentino says, shaking Dani’s hand and Jorge is suspicious now. Under any other circumstance, Valentino would have been mocking him relentlessly by now, but as it is, he just looks like he’s about to have a breakdown.

“Are you alright?” Jorge asks, eyes narrowed.

Valentino turns to him with wide eyes. “I’m going on a date with Marc.”

“Oh, wow.” Jorge blinks. “Congratulations. When?”

“Now,” Valentino says, running a hand through his hair. “We’re meeting at the Ranch in half an hour and then he’s coming back here after for dinner.”

_“Now?!_ ” Jorge asks, spluttering. “Where the fuck am I meant to go while you’re having dinner?”

“I didn’t think about that, alright?” Valentino hisses. “I just asked him, I was already fucking terrified, I hadn’t planned anything in advance.”

Dani steps between the two of them. “Okay, why don’t we all just calm down?”

Jorge bites his lip and Valentino crosses his arms over his chest. They bicker a lot, but they rarely argue and Jorge can appreciate that Valentino is probably having an internal meltdown over the whole “gay crisis” thing he’s going through and now isn’t the time to have a full blown row.

“Right,” Dani says firmly. “Jorge, you can stay at mine, I’ve got a pull out sofa bed. Vale, take a deep breath, it’s all going to be fine. Now, what are you going to wear?”

Valentino grimaces. “I’m not exactly great with fashion.”

Jorge stands up now.

“I’ll help you pick something out, yeah?” He offers. “Doesn’t need to be anything too fancy, just some nice jeans, a t-shirt. You’ll be in leathers at the Ranch anyway, won’t you?”

It’s a weird sort of half an hour, Jorge helps Valentino pick out some jeans and a plain white shirt that the Italian manages to carry well with his lanky frame, and Dani tidies the rest of the flat. He feels a bit like a parent preparing his older, incredibly irritating son to go on his first date.

“Do you think this is a bad idea?” Valentino asks midway through pulling on the shirt. “I feel like he’s going to hate it.”

Jorge rolls his eyes. “Vale, come on. He clearly adores you, he wouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with you if he didn’t like you. Just go and ride some bikes and then later on maybe he can show you another kind of ride.”

Valentino hits him hard on the arm, and then goes pale.

“Fuck, Jorge, the dinner.” He says. “I haven’t got anything, what am I going to do?”

“Well thought out this date, eh?” Jorge winks. He shouldn’t be enjoying this, but he kind of is. “Don’t worry, me and Dani will sort out the food while you’re at the Ranch. Stop panicking and go and enjoy yourself.”

Valentino pulls on his usual grey beanie and turns to Jorge with an expectant expression.

“Do I look okay?”

“Beautiful.” Jorge says. “There is no finer man on earth than you in this moment.”

Valentino grins, looking more like his usual self.

“You sure about that?” He jerks his head towards the door. “What about your boyfriend out there?”

Jorge swats at him. “Fuck off.”

Once Valentino has finally left, looking a bit pale but clearly much more relaxed than when he had first arrived home, Jorge goes and joins Dani in the kitchen where he’s cleaning the counter top. He’s clearly managed to find cleaning products that Jorge and Valentino either have forgotten about or never used, because it looks absolutely spotless.

“Um, did you mean what you said earlier?” Jorge asks quietly, continuing when Dani raises an eyebrow. “About me staying at yours? I’ve got other friends I can stay with if it’s not okay.”

Dani shakes his head. “No, you can stay with me. Do _you_ want to?”

Jorge nods to stop himself saying something stupid like “yes please”.

“I promised Vale I would sort out dinner first.” Jorge admits, opening the fridge. “We don’t have much in here.”

Dani puts down the cloth he’s using and peers at the contents of the fridge over Jorge’s shoulder. Jorge can see him standing on his tip toes and bites his lip to stop himself smiling.

“How far is the nearest supermarket?” Dani asks.

Jorge shrugs. “Not far, about five minutes give or take.”

Dani turns away from him and pulls a pad of paper and a pen out of a drawer that he had apparently put it in, because Jorge has never noticed it before. He scribbles down a list, humming as he does, before ripping off the piece of paper.

“Go and get me all that,” he says, handing Jorge the list. “I’ll give you the money. We haven’t got time to cook anything much, I think just pasta and meatballs, it shouldn’t take too long. Pick something up for dessert while you’re there, I’ll sort the table and stuff out.”

It briefly occurs to Jorge that having his guest cook a meal for his flatmate and said flatmates potential boyfriend is probably a bit strange and he once again wonders if his life has enough drama in it for it to be considered soap opera worthy. He tries, and fails, to not think about the moment earlier where he was pretty certain he and Dani were about to kiss.

_You were caught up in the moment, it happens to everyone_.

When he’s returned from the supermarket, having picked up everything on Dani’s list along with Valentino’s favourite Tiramisu for dessert, he opens the apartment door to find it looking totally different.

It’s tidier for one thing, much more so than when Jorge panic tidied earlier that afternoon, but the place has a much more intimate feel too. The main lighting is dimmed and instead there are candles everywhere, and the usual bundle of blankets on the sofa have been neatly rearranged so that it actually looks fairly smart. The dinner table has a table cloth that Jorge has never seen before on it along with two more decorative candles in the centre and is laid out like it would be in a restaurant.

“Is it all okay?”

Dani stands in the kitchen with an apron on that comes down past his knees, looking slightly nervous.

“Yeah,” Jorge says, amazed. “It looks incredible. How did you do the table like that?”

“I waited tables when I was at law school.” Dani says, shrugging. “It’s something you never really forget how to do when you have to do it every night for a couple years. Now, hand over the bags.”

Dani banishes Jorge to the living room while he cooks the dinner, but he’s so afraid of messing up Dani’s hard work that he retreats to his bedroom and begins packing a bag for staying at Dani’s. He feels nervous now, wondering if Dani will bring up the moment they had earlier or leave it be. He’s not entirely sure which one he would prefer.

When he comes back out into the living room with his bag in tow, Jorge finds Dani stood waiting for him, jacket already on.

“I’ve left the pasta on the stove,” He says. “It’s on low, so all he’ll have to do is serve it.”

Jorge nods, making a mental note to text Valentino that before he leaves.

“Did you come by car?” Jorge asks, holding up the bag. “I can call myself a taxi if not.”

“No, I drove my car here.” Dani pulls some keys out of his pocket. “I normally drive to work, most clients don’t really like the idea of their lawyer riding around on a motorbike. Gives off the wrong impression, apparently.”

Dani’s apartment is smaller than Jorge expected, but the design is beautiful, the clean white walls decorated with old canvas photographs of motorbikes and pictures of what must be Dani’s family. The décor is modern and clearly expensive, leather sofa and a fluffy white rug, everything spotless.

“It’s beautiful.” Jorge says. “You’re a lot tidier than me and Vale.”

Dani raises an eyebrow. “That’s not hard, by the looks of things. Your cleaning supplies were in a cupboard gathering dust.”

Jorge pokes him in the side and Dani giggles adorably.

Dani serves them the leftover pizza from earlier for dinner and they eat it while watching some strange sci-fi movie that has them both almost crying with laughter at how bad it is. Jorge ends up nearly falling asleep during the second movie they watch, at which point Dani forces him to stand up and pulls out the sofa bed, bringing out a spare cover and some pillows.

“If you need anything, just ask.” Dani says as he lays down the pillows. “And, um, I just wanted to say thank you again for what you said earlier. That really meant a lot to me.”

Jorge swallows. “No problem.”

There’s a moment when Jorge thinks that that’s going to be it, but then Dani walks around the edge of the sofa bed and before Jorge can do anything, he pulls him into a tight hug, arms wrapping around Jorge’s waist. Jorge stands there, stunned, for a moment before he brings his own arms up, one around Dani’s shoulders and the other so that his hand rests in Dani’s hair. His heart is pounding and given that Dani only just comes up past his shoulders, he must be able to hear it from where his head is pressed against Jorge’s chest, but he says nothing.

They stay like that for a long moment until Dani pulls away, blinking up at Jorge with those mocha pools that he can’t seem to look away from. He squeezes Jorge’s hand gently.

“Goodnight, Jorge.”

There’s a fraction of a second in which Jorge has the desire to say “wait” and grab Dani’s arm before he leaves, but he waits a moment too long and Dani’s already padding away down the hall to his bedroom.

Jorge climbs into the sofa bed, grabs one of the pillows and shouts silently into it. He bangs his head against the pillow a few times before turning over and staring at the ceiling.

_Love is very confusing indeed_.

+

 “You know, I don’t think you’ve been listening to me this entire conversation.”

“Hm?” Jorge blinks out of his stupor, Cal’s voice finally in full focus on the other end of the phone. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Cal’s laugh is loud in his ear.

“Who is he?” Cal asks and Jorge stiffens.

“Who is who?” Jorge can hear the defensiveness in his tone and curses himself for it.

“The bloke that’s distracting you from having a proper conversation with me.” Cal says. “Come on, Jorge, I’m not an idiot.”

“It’s nothing,” Jorge says dismissively, knowing that it’s too late to feign ignorance now. Cal’s known him too long to have missed Jorge’s change in demeanour. “He’s just a friend, I’ll get over it.”

Cal is silent on the other end of the line for a few seconds.

“Jorge,” He says, and his voice is unusually gentle. “Why don’t you give it a chance? I know you’re not big on these things, mate, but this one could be different.”

Jorge snorts. “That’s what people said about Dovi, and look what happened there.”

“That relationship was a disaster from the start,” Cal says firmly. “You two were terrible for one another and you know it. This Dani guy, he sounds a lot better for you.”

“Just because he’s nice now, doesn’t mean it won’t all go to shit.” Jorge snaps, then pauses. “Hang on, I never told you Dani’s name.”

“Um, well,” Cal splutters and Jorge knows immediately who is to blame.

“You’ve been speaking to Vale.” He hisses, furious at his flatmate. Valentino is very lucky that he’s not home, because Jorge could happily murder him right now. “What the fuck, Cal?”

“I was worried about you, alright?” Cal sighs, and Jorge can almost see him running a hand over his face. “You kept telling me you were struggling with your writing, you’d been in some weird funk since shit went down with Dovi and because I don’t live in Spain, it’s not like I can just come over and see if you’re alright. So, yes, I asked Vale if he could let me know how everything was going with you and he did.”

Jorge seethes silently, knowing that Cal’s actions are coming from a good place, but the fact that his friends have been spying on him makes him feel weak and he can almost hear his dad’s voice in his ears now.

_Do you want to be weak, Jorge?_

_Maybe I do_ , Jorge thinks.

“Look, I’m sorry for interfering.” Cal says. “But, you know I just want you to be happy and so does Vale, so do all your friends. I just worry that you’re going to let someone you really like slip away because you’ve convinced yourself you’re not cut out for relationships. Why don’t you give it a go?”

Jorge swallows. “I’ll think about it, alright?”

“Good.” Cal says firmly, leaving no room for argument. “Now, tell me, is it true Vale has a _boyfriend_ now?”

+

It’s a rainy Saturday where Jorge finds himself _still_ unable to finish writing the chapter. He comes up with some generic advice, but after talking to Cal, his head is all over the place in regards to his feelings. Yes, he likes Dani and he’s certainly attracted to him, but who was to say that in a few months Dani wouldn’t become sick of him the way his past boyfriends had? Jorge doesn’t want to risk his heart being broke again.

He’s busy cooking himself an omelette for lunch when he hears Valentino’s bedroom door open and the Italian strolls into the living room with an expression on his face that Jorge doesn’t like _at all_.

“Ah, Jorge,” Valentino pronounces Jorge’s name properly as opposed to the usual “your-gay” that he does deliberately to piss Jorge off. “How is my favourite flatmate?”

Jorge raises an eyebrow. “What do you want?”

“What makes you think I want something?” Valentino asks, but his expression is enough for Jorge to know that he does, and clearly quite badly if he’s willing to call Jorge by his actual name. “Can a man not speak to his best friend without it being seen as suspicious?”

“Firstly, we’re not best friends, although I would pay a good amount of money to see you say that sentence again in front of Uccio.” Jorge smirks, the mental picture of Uccio’s face enough to provide him with amusement for days.  “Secondly, you never normally surface from your pit until mid afternoon on weekends and thirdly, you’re doing that weird face you do when you want something.”

Valentino sighs. “Very well. I want to invite Marc over.”

“Alright,” Jorge says, confused. “You do know you don’t need my permission to do that, right?”

“Of course,” Valentino rolls his eyes. “I meant as in, I want to have him, you know, stay the night.”

Jorge gets it now.

“And you want me to not be here so you two can be as loud as you want, yeah?” Jorge asks, smirking further still at the blush that goes across the Italian’s face. “Okay, I’ll see if I can find someone to stay with, but you owe me for this.”

Valentino claps him on the shoulder, looking far too pleased with himself. Jorge makes a mental note to check all the surfaces of the flat upon his return just in case; he doesn’t trust Valentino or Marc not to fuck anywhere they can once he’s gone.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

Jorge debates with himself for a while, scrolling up and down his contacts until he decides to bite the bullet and text Dani. There’s no harm in asking, he tells himself, even if he knows he probably shouldn’t be around Dani the way that he’s currently feeling towards the other man.

_hey, Vale wants me out the house tonight, is there any way I can stay on your sofa again? i’ll bring food as payment!_

He only has to wait for a few minutes for Dani to get back to him.

_of course u can! pizza would be nice :D_

Jorge groans, throwing himself down face first on his bed. It’s just dinner, they’ve done it before, nothing strange there. And no matter what Cal says about letting “the one” go, Jorge doesn’t want to lose Dani as his friend and he’s determined not to do anything to jeopardise that.

_It’s just one night_.

+

“God, this film is shit.”

Dani’s nose is scrunched up endearingly as he looks at the screen. They’re watching some god awful shooter movie that is so poorly filmed and with such terrible CGI that Jorge is actually impressed at how bad it is. It’s dark outside now, and Jorge is starting to feel a little tired, but he doesn’t dare voice that. He doesn’t want to go to bed and miss spending time with Dani.

They’ve spent most of the evening in the living room, Jorge having left Valentino a note saying “ _use a condom_ ” on the fridge door before he left. Dani had a delicious chocolate torte that they demolished even after eating far too much pizza and Jorge hopes that these regular meals aren’t going to end up affecting his physique.

“Still better than listening to Vale fucking his boyfriend.” Jorge says, shuddering at the thought. “I’m sort of scared about what I’m going to find when I go back. I’m going to have to disinfect the place.”

Dani grins. “You need me to come over and do some cleaning again? I didn’t think either of you knew what a mop was.”

“It wasn’t that bad!”

They banter back and forth for a bit before falling into a comfortable silence, Jorge occasionally looking at Dani out of the corner of his eye. He looks gorgeous, his hair a bit longer and framing his face beautifully. His expressions are subtle, but the little quirk of his lips and crinkle of his eyes whenever he finds something funny is enough to have Jorge’s heart beating overtime.

“How long now until your race?” Jorge asks just to snap himself out of it. “Can’t be too long now.”

“Two weeks,” Dani says. “I hope it goes okay, I’ve managed to raise plenty of money, which is the main aim, but I still want to do well in the race. You’ll have to come; you and your friends can meet me at the finish. ”

“Wait, I haven’t given you anything.” Jorge says, frowning. “Where do I donate?”

He types the gofundme address into the search bar of his phone as Dani says it, finding himself directed to a page which explains where all the money for the race will be going and when it is. Jorge is hardly surprised to find the funds will be going to several different children’s charities and feels his heart threatening to burst with emotion.

The fund itself has reached well over Dani’s goal, but Jorge doesn’t hesitate to donate €5,000. He’s got the money from his books, he rarely spends it on anything other than bikes or occasionally on a nice jacket (Jorge likes them irrelevant of Valentino’s obvious disgust whenever he wears them. Jorge maintains the Italian just isn’t fashion forward enough to get it.). Dani, however, looks shocked when he sees the update to the page, reaching out and hitting Jorge on the arm.

“Jorge,” He says, voice choked and expression one of awe. “You can’t donate that, that’s way too much! You’ll have to take some of it back, I can’t accept it.”

Jorge shakes his head. “Nope, it’s all yours now.”

“But-”

“No buts.” Jorge says firmly. “Look, I’ve got the money and I want to give it to you. I’d give you anything, you know that.”

It’s far too much too soon and Jorge is just about to open his mouth to apologise, when he finds himself with a lap full of Dani, the older man’s lips pressed firmly against his own and it’s _incredible_.

Jorge brings his hands up around to grip Dani’s hips, slipping his hands underneath the loose shirt he’s wearing and feeling the heat radiating from the smooth skin there. Dani bites at his bottom lip and Jorge gives as good as he gets, biting back and loving the moan that Dani lets out as he does. It feels so natural, so _right_ , that it would be terrifying if Jorge wasn’t so high on the taste of Dani’s mouth.

Jorge can’t fail to notice how hard he is already and when Dani grinds down as he licks into Jorge’s mouth, his hips jerk and his grip on Dani’s hips tightens. He feels like he’s on fire, like every single one of his nerves is tingling and he can barely think because of the sensations running through his body.

 He wants more, he wants _everything_ that Dani is willing to give.

Dani pulls back and for a second, Jorge experiences a thrill of fear, before Dani cups his face gently, looking at him with those dark eyes that are full of affection. It’s like nothing Jorge’s ever seen before, he’s so beautiful and he’s here looking at Jorge like _that_.

“Take me to bed?”

Jorge swallows. This is the point, he knows, where he should probably stop them from going any further and tell Dani that whatever is going to happen is a bad idea, that Dani will live to regret this if they carry on, but Cal’s words are echoing in his head;

_Why don’t you give it a go?_

“Okay.”

+

When Jorge wakes up, it takes him a second to realise that he’s not alone.

He’s got a warm body almost lying on top of him, Dani’s head resting in the crook of his neck, his breath tickling the skin there. His own body aches a little from the night before, scratches on his back still stinging slightly and Jorge can see the bruises he himself had left on Dani’s body. It had been perfect, everything Jorge had dreamed of and more, and the thought alone has him scared stiff.

He should stay, he knows, and be brave. But he’s not, he’s terrified and he knows how this all goes in the end, has lived it a thousand times over. He can still hear the words Casey had said to him as he had walked out the door and out of Jorge’s life forever.

_You were a mistake, Jorge, one that I shouldn’t have made._

Jorge carefully manoeuvres Dani’s small frame off of him so that the other man doesn’t wake, and locates the clothes he was wearing yesterday, throwing them on as quickly possible. He hurries out of the bedroom, grabbing his bag and pulling on his jacket. He’s just about to pull on his shoes when he looks up to find Dani staring at him, wide eyed and shirtless. The lovebites blooming on his neck are hard to look away from, but Jorge forces himself to.

“What are you doing?” He asks, and Jorge can’t fail to notice the twinge of hurt in his voice.

“Look, Dani,” Jorge begins, but he doesn’t know how to end the sentence. He was hoping to avoid this conversation entirely. “Last night was a mistake.”

He cringes at his choice of words, but nothing is worse than the expression that comes across Dani’s face. He looks as though Jorge has hit him, eyes flashing with a million emotions that Jorge can’t read.

“You can’t be fucking serious.” Dani says, deadly quiet. “You told me yesterday that you would do anything for me and now, you’re going to run away.”

“I told you before, I don’t do relationships.” Jorge hisses defensively. “This is only going to end badly for both of us and I don’t want that to happen. It’s not fair on me or you.”

“What, so instead of seeing if this could actually go anywhere, you’re just going to pretend it never happened?” Dani says, taking a few steps closer and he looks so _hurt_. “Jorge, please.”

Jorge almost cracks. “I can’t.”

“I love you.”

It knocks the wind out of Jorge’s sails, the shock of the words making him feel lightheaded. He looks at Dani in utter disbelief, but Dani just looks straight back at him with a determined expression and his fists clenched.

“You, what?” Jorge asks, stunned.

“I love you.” Dani repeats firmly. “I know you’re scared, Jorge, but so am I. We can take it slowly, we don’t need to rush into anything. Just gives this, give _us_ , a chance.”

Jorge closes his eyes. He would like nothing more in that moment than to be able to freeze time, to give himself a moment to think properly. A relationship with Dani is something that, if he hadn’t managed to fuck up every relationship he’s ever had, Jorge would want more than anything.

_He loves you, and you love him, why not give it a chance?_

“I can’t.” Jorge’s voice cracks as he says it and he tries to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill. “I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you and I know that I will. I just can’t do it, I’m so sorry, Dani.”

He picks up his bag, desperate to escape so that he can be alone before he breaks down. He feels like his chest is about to cave in with the pressure currently pressing down on it. He can hardly breathe and the whole room feels like it’s spinning. Dani’s expression hardens at his words and Jorge knows it’s all over. He’s played this game too many times before.

“Fine, be a coward.” Dani says, looking at him coldly even with tears spilling down his own cheeks. “I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

“Dani-”

But before Jorge can say anything more, Dani turns on his heel and walks back down the hallway to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Jorge stands where he is for a long moment before hoisting his bag up onto his shoulders and walking slowly out of the apartment.

He closes the door behind himself and leans against it briefly, clenching his fists until he’s pretty sure his nails are cutting into his skin. God, he wishes he could turn back time, stop himself from giving in the night before and hurting Dani the way that he knew he would, the way he always does to anyone he cares about.

Jorge gets to the car park before he realises that a taxi had driven him here, having expected Dani to give him a lift home in the morning. He can’t call Valentino, the other man probably still in bed either asleep or doing things Jorge would rather not think of, and he doesn’t fancy explaining to anyone else why he needs picking up this early in the morning from someone else’s apartment. He fishes around in the bottom of his bag and manages to scrape together what should be enough for a taxi home and calls.

The taxi arrives fairly quickly and the roads are quiet enough to have Jorge home in about twenty minutes, the taxi driver having apparently noticed Jorge’s dark expression and didn’t bother with any chatter on the drive.

 Jorge lets him keep the change.

There’s a sweet smell that hits Jorge in the face when he enters the apartment, and as he gets to the kitchen, he finds Marc wearing nothing but his boxers and preparing what look like Torrejas. He’s humming to himself, swaying to the beat and then, he turns and spots Jorge and lets out a rather unmanly scream, dropping the frying pan with a loud bang that echoes throughout the flat.

“Holy shit, sorry.” Marc says, reaching down and grabbing the pan. “I didn’t mean to scream, just I didn’t expect to see you, I thought you would be out for the rest of the day, Vale said you might be and -“

“It’s fine, Marc.” Jorge cuts him off. “I should have said something so you knew I was here.”

Valentino chooses this moment to wander into the kitchen, looking wary. Thankfully, he’s wearing sweatpants and shirt, but he looks rather dishevelled and Jorge can’t help but to wrinkle his nose.

“What’s going on?” Valentino asks, then he turns and notices Jorge. “What are you doing back so early?”

Jorge shrugs. “Things come up.”

Valentino’s eyes narrow and he walks closer to Jorge. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Jorge snaps. “Drop it, Vale.”

Jorge can tell that Valentino would very much like to carry on this conversation, but with Marc there staring at the two of them with wide eyes, he just gives Jorge a look that says they’ll be talking about this later and steps back.

“As you wish.”

Jorge nods, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. He had hoped Valentino and Marc would still be in bed so that he could go to his room and mope in peace.

“I’m sorry for ruining your breakfast.” Jorge says to Marc, who just smiles that stupid, charming smile. “I’m going to go and try and get a few more hours sleep, so.”

He trails off before practically running to his room, closing the door behind him and then locking it for good measure. Jorge wouldn’t put it past Valentino to try and ambush him. He crawls into his bed and presses his face into the pillows, and he can’t hold back any longer. He lets out a sob that wracks his chest, can feel the tears spilling over now. There’s a pain that Jorge hasn’t felt in so long, heartbreak being something that he’s avoided for many years.

_I love you_.

God, why had Dani had to go and say that? Why couldn’t he have just called Jorge an asshole and thrown him out like anyone else would have done? Jorge wants to scream.

He cries until he’s physically exhausted and then just crashes out, falling into a restless sleep where he dreams of Dani walking away some other faceless stranger and the floor falling out from underneath him as he tries to run after them.

Somehow, his promise to Dani that this was all for the best doesn’t seem so true anymore.

+

 Valentino lets Jorge sulk for a week until he finally broaches the topic again.

“So,” Valentino says, handing Jorge a plate of spaghetti bolognese. “Are we going to talk about it yet, or are you going to throw that plate at my head?”

Jorge flips him the finger. “Fuck off.”

“Come on,” Valentino slumps down on the other side of the sofa, apparently still wary of being in reaching distance. “You can’t keep feeling sorry for yourself forever.”

“Watch me.” Jorge snarls. He text Dani an apology the day after everything happened, but he’s heard nothing back. He feels empty. “I’m an adult, I can do what I want.”

Valentino snorts. “You could’ve fooled me, you’re acting like a child.”

Jorge takes a deep breath and has to recall several quotes about keeping calm to prevent himself from turning and punching his flatmate square in the face. Valentino seems to notice the change in his expression, because he brings his legs up to his chest lest Jorge stabs him in the foot with the fork.

“I’m only asking because I’m worried about you.” Valentino continues, and Jorge curses him for playing dirty. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself and it’s been days since you showered, seriously, you smell fucking terrible. I’m worried the apartment is going to end up attracting cockroaches.”

“Grazie Vale,” Jorge says dryly. “You sure know how to pick a man up when he’s down.”

Valentino raises an eyebrow and Jorge sighs, knowing he’s lost this now.

“Alright,” He groans, putting down the pasta. “I fucked up and now Dani isn’t speaking to me.”

“Define ‘fucked up’.” Valentino says.

Jorge swallows. “We had sex.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Valentino asks, confused. “You’ve been in love with him since you met him, surely this is a positive step forward.”

“He caught me trying to sneak out in the morning.” Jorge admits, unable to look Valentino in the face.

“ _Jorge_!” Valentino hits him hard on the leg. “What the fuck is the matter with you?”

“I know, I _know_ ,” Jorge whines. “I got scared, okay, and he told me he loved me and I totally freaked out and told him it was never going to work and now I think he hates me.”

Jorge turns his head slightly to see Valentino looking at him incredulously.

“But you do like Dani!” Valentino says. “You literally blushed every time you said his name, I haven’t seen you like this since-”

Jorge cuts him off before he can finish that sentence, not wanting to know which name will follow.

“Exactly.” Jorge says firmly. “And look how that worked out.”

Valentino groans.

“Jorge, you can’t keep holding onto those things. Look and me and Linda,” Jorge nearly chokes because Valentino _never_ mentions Linda. Uccio had actually asked Jorge specifically never to bring her name in Valentino’s presence again for fear of the Italian punching one of them. “We broke up, I was convinced I was never going to fall in love again, and now look. Do you really think that I thought I was going to meet someone like Marc? If you had told me that three years ago, I would have laughed in your face and you know it. Jorge, if you convince yourself that you’re not going to be happy in a relationship because of what’s happened to you in the past, you won’t ever be.”

Jorge blinks, unable to form words.

“Have you been reading my books?” He asks, because the Italian is never normally this forthcoming with advice. His usual solution is to drink, ride and smoke your problems away.

“I’ve read all your books.” Valentino shrugs. “Jorge, do you love him too?”

“I, yeah.” Jorge admits shakily. “I love him.”

“Excellent. Now, how are you going to fix this?”

“I don’t know,” Jorge heaves a sigh. “He won’t reply to my texts and I doubt he would answer my calls. I was supposed to be going to see him in his race on Saturday, but I don’t think that’ll be happening now either.”

Valentino is silent for a moment, a calculating air surrounding him. He fiddles with his earring for a moment before turning back to Jorge.

“Do we need tickets for the race?” He asks.

Jorge shakes his head. “I don’t think so, he told me to just turn up and bring my friends.”

“And do that you shall,” Valentino grins, rubbing his hands together. “I’ve got a plan, just let me call Marc.”

And with that, he grabs his phone off the coffee table and jumps to his feet, hurrying off down the hallway with it pressed to his ear.

“Shouldn’t you let _me_ know the plan?” Jorge calls after him, but there’s no answer. “Vale!”

Jorge has a _really_ bad feeling about this.

+

“Which one is he?”

“The race hasn’t finished yet.” Jorge says through gritted teeth. He’s got a plastic bag clenched tightly in one hand and the other holding some flowers that Marc had insisted on them picking up. “We’re going to have to wait until he’s done, and even then he might just tell me to fuck off.”

Marc is bouncing along next to Valentino like an over excited Labrador, eyes wide and eager. Valentino keeps giving him disgustingly fond looks, which Jorge would gag at under any other circumstance, but today he isn’t sure he’ll be able to stop himself from throwing up.

_I'm not telling you it will be easy, I'm telling you it will be worthy._

“It’ll be fine.” Valentino says calmly. “Let’s go and find somewhere to watch and then you can go and talk to him when he finishes.”

The fifty minute wait between them arriving, Jorge having not been entirely sure of when the race even started, and the first people crossing the line is torturous. Jorge fiddles with his phone to pass the time, trying to ignore Marc and Valentino’s loved up conversations from next to him.

“Isn’t that him?”

Jorge’s head jerks up at Valentino’s words, and finds that it is indeed Dani who has just crossed the finish line and is chatting to what must be a couple of volunteers who are telling the cyclists their times and giving out the medals.

Jorge hesitates until Dani has stepped away from the volunteers and then, after a firm push on the shoulder from Valentino, he walks shakily over to where Dani is checking his phone.

“Hey,” He says lamely.

Dani’s turns, his expression morphing into a icy one when he realises who it is. Jorge’s heart pounds in his chest as he waits for Dani’s next move.

“What are you doing here?” He asks stonily, arms crossed over his chest.

Jorge holds out the flowers and the bag. “For you.”

Dani takes the flowers with narrowed eyes before peering inside the bag.

“Crema Catalana.” Jorge says, smiling weakly. “I thought you would like some for after the race.”

Dani doesn’t smile, in fact his expression doesn’t falter in the slightest. His eyes are unreadable and Jorge is certain that he’s made a mistake.

“Thanks.” He says, although he doesn’t sound happy. “As _lovely_ as all this is, I repeat, Jorge, why are you here?”

Jorge takes a deep breath.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.” Jorge looks down at his feet. “I treated you like shit and you didn’t deserve that at all. I shouldn’t have put my issues on you and I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me. I’m really sorry, Dani.”

Dani nods slowly. “Right, well, I accept your apology. Is that it?”

“No, Dani, I have to tell you something.” Jorge looks Dani in the face now. He feels sick and hopes beyond hope he doesn’t vomit mid sentence. “I just wanted you to know that I love you too. And I should have said that before, not now when it’s too late.”

Dani stares at him with the same unreadable look on his face and Jorge can’t help but to notice that he isn’t exactly jumping for joy over the confession.

“Anyway, I’m sorry about everything.” Jorge says again, now taking a few steps back. “I’ll, um, leave you alone now. I just wanted you to know.”

He’s about to turn away when Dani speaks again.

“It’s not too late, you know.”

Jorge stares. “What?”

“I said, it’s not too late.” Dani says. The corners of his lips are upturned slightly and Jorge’s heart leaps for it. “It’s probably really stupid and I really shouldn’t, but I still love you. And if you want to, I still want to give this a go.”

Jorge lets the words sink in for a second, and then he steps forward and kisses Dani firmly on the lips. Dani lets out a pleased noise and then Jorge feels an arm come up around his neck, Dani still holding the flowers in one hand. Dani tastes slightly sweaty and a little like energy drink, but Jorge doesn’t care; it’s just right in that moment.

 Jorge is just about to wrap his arms around Dani’s waist and pull him into him, when he’s distracted by a loud cheering sound along with some clapping. He pulls back to find Marc looking absolutely delighted while Valentino presses a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth.

“I’m so sorry,” Valentino says insincerely, his smirk giving him away. “He doesn’t have a filter.”

Normally, Jorge would be furious, but as it is, he just laughs. He turns back to Dani, who’s a got a faint pink tinge to his cheeks and a small smile on his face.

“We’ll talk later, yeah?” He asks.

Dani nods, beaming. “Yeah.”

Jorge gives him one more kiss, just because he can.

+

“Tell me,” Dani says later, when they’re sat in his living room long after the race. Marc and Valentino dropped them off earlier in the afternoon and Dani had spent most of the time since then cleaning himself up while Jorge cooked them some Paella. “The other day, what happened?”

Jorge takes a deep breath.

“I know I told you I was bad with relationships, but I guess I didn’t really explain it properly.” Jorge says quietly. “When my parents divorced, I went to live with my dad and he’s a big fan of tough love. There was never really any kind of affection or anything when I was younger. And as I got older, and started dating people, I struggled to give them the affection that they wanted because I didn’t know how and then they would end up getting fed up and leaving. I’ve always struggled with expressing my emotions and it got to the point where I just thought, fuck it, if I don’t date, if I don’t feel anything, then I can’t hurt anyone and they can’t hurt me either.”

 Dani’s hands are gentle as they take Jorge’s own, thumbs stroking the skin there.

“I kind of guessed the thing about your dad,” Dani admits. “From the way you spoke about him, I thought you might not have a great relationship. But, Jorge, you have to know that we don’t have to rush into anything here. If you’re not comfortable, we can wait.”

Jorge shakes his head. “I don’t want to wait, I love you. I’m just scared, I guess, that you’ll get fed up and leave too.”

“I’m not going to leave.” Dani says firmly, squeezing his hands. “I don’t need you to shout about us from the rooftops, I don’t need you to write me poetry or shower me in roses, as nice as that would be. I just need to know that you love me and you need to know that I love you, and we can go from there.”

Jorge leans in and cups Dani’s face in his hands, feeling how delicate and almost fragile he feels underneath Jorge’s fingertips. He finds it hard to believe that anyone could ever willingly hurt this beautiful man in front of him, feels ashamed that he is one of those who has hurt him.

“I love you.” Jorge tells him. “You make me feel like I don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

“You don’t.” Dani says simply. “Because I love you too.”

Jorge kisses the smile off of his lips, trying to be as gentle as he can be, knowing how tender Dani’s whole body must be after the race. Dani, however, grabs at his shoulders and practically climbs on top of him. It’s so familiar compared to the last time they were here and Jorge has to push down the memories of his actions that night.

“Take me to bed?” Dani whispers. “And this time, stay in the morning?”

Jorge kisses him again softly. “What if I want to stay forever?”

Dani giggles, his nose scrunching up adorably as he does.

“I think that would be even better.”

+

**_One year later_ **

“Shall we stop here for lunch?”

Jorge clambers off the bicycle, the spot being somewhere he and Dani have stopped many times before when they’ve been out together cycling. It’s only a small bench, but it’s in the middle of a beautiful clearing where they can see out over a lot of the city. They’ve spent a lot of time here, normally Dani resting his head on Jorge’s shoulder as they watch the world go by.

Dani takes a couple sandwiches out of his backpack, handing one to Jorge and they both sit down on the bench, thighs pressed together. Their helmets and bikes lie a few feet away, resting on a tree stump that’s been there as long as they’ve been coming here.

“How’s Vale’s trip home going?” Dani asks after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Jorge laughs. “Stefania has apparently adopted Marc and Vale is feeling pretty left out from what he told me. The golden child has been replaced by his own boyfriend.”

They eat their lunch, Dani telling Jorge about the cases he’s got coming up in the following weeks and Jorge showing Dani some pictures that Valentino had sent him that morning of his family and Marc.

“My mum loves you,” Dani says as they get to a picture of Marc and Stefania. “I think she would adopt you if she could. And Eric always says you’d be a better brother.”

“That’s not true at all.” Jorge grins. “Your brother would be jealous that I’m better looking than him.”

Dani snorts. “And so modest too.”

Jorge isn’t sure how he’s managing to keep laughing and talking so normally with the way his heart is pounding in his chest, but he doesn’t want to give the game away. Dani is so in tune to Jorge’s emotions that the fact he hasn’t noticed Jorge’s sweaty palms and the way his hands are shaking is a surprise.

He waits until Dani is distracted by putting the pot he had the sandwiches in back in his backpack before picking up his own and opening the side pocket. The little box is thankfully still in there after the 14 times Jorge had checked before they set out on the ride. He pulls it out and discreetly places it next to him before putting the backpack back down on the floor. Jorge isn’t sure how this next bit goes, despite having forced Valentino to help him plan this over the course of several days before he pissed off back to Italy.

“Dani.” Jorge says and his voice trembles. Dani turns to look at him with a confused expression. “I have to ask you something.”

“Okay.” Dani says slowly, looking very lost.

Reaching for the little box that feels like it weighs a tonne, Jorge shakily lifts himself off the bench until he’s down on one knee and looking up at Dani, who’s eyes have gone very wide. He looks almost comical, and Jorge would laugh if it were any other time. As it is, he’s just trying not to pass out.

“I don’t know how this is supposed to go,” Jorge says, trying to remember everything he wants to say. “Before I met you, I didn’t think I was ever going to have to do this, I didn’t think I would ever to _want_ to do this. And then, I met you, and everything I ever thought about love went out the window. Like, whenever I think about you, I feel so thankful that you’re mine and I don’t know how I got so lucky to meet someone so incredible. I know I’m not perfect, that I moan and bitch and that I can be a right miserable bastard sometimes, but you always love me anyway. I don’t honestly know what I would do without you, like I can’t imagine a life where me and you aren’t together and I don’t want to. So, um, Dani, will you marry me?”

Dani has tears streaming down his face, but his smile is radiant.

“You write such pretty poetry, Lorenzo.” He says, wiping away the tears. “But, yes, of course I’ll marry you.”

He leans down and kisses Jorge firmly, the kiss a bit wet, but it’s perfect and Jorge wouldn’t have it any other way. Dani pulls away after a second and holds out his hand, Jorge realising after a second what he wants and delicately putting the ring onto his ring finger. It’s only a plain gold band, but Jorge knows Dani doesn’t like flashy anyway.

“We’ll have to get you a matching one.” Dani says, looking at the ring with a smile.

Jorge presses a kiss to the back of his hand. “Yes, we will.”

Jorge pushes himself back up onto the bench and pulls Dani into a hug, both of them wrapping their arms tightly around one another. Jorge has an odd feeling in his stomach, almost as though he’s finally complete, finally found what he’s been waiting for all along.

“Thank you.” Jorge whispers in Dani’s ear. “I love you so much.”

Dani presses a kiss to Jorge’s cheek. “Don’t need to thank me for anything, but I love you too. I hope you know that I can’t wait to call you my husband.”

Jorge pulls back a little and nuzzles their noses together. It’s disgusting really, almost Marc and Valentino levels of soppiness, but Jorge doesn’t give a shit in the moment. He’s happier than he’s ever been in his life.

“And I can’t wait to call you mine.” He tells Dani, overwhelmed by the love he can see reflected in Dani’s eyes. “Do we want to take a load of pictures and post them all over Instagram so people can be jealous of how perfect we are together?”

“Absolutely.”

_Love is something that leads to much confusion in life_. _It’s a journey that is full of the unknown, and it can be truly terrifying at times. But no matter how many times you get knocked down, no matter how many times you tell yourself you’re going to give up forever, just know that the one you’re waiting for could be just around the corner._

 

**_end_ **

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this, if you really wanna talk, hit me up on tumblr (lewishamlton). i'm not always there but if you mail me i will get an email so, i will see and answer!
> 
> big love,
> 
> jazz xx


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